Mosiah 17 - I Will Not Recall the Words Which I Have Spoken

Abinidi stayed true to his testimony in the face of death and gave his life for his convictions. I wonder what he thought, and what feelings of the Spirit were his immediately before his death. Did he have any sense of the impact his words would have, or did he die without any reassurance that his efforts mattered? One of the priests of Noah named Alma was moved by his words, repented, and became a great spiritual leader, but all that Abinidi would have known was that Noah cast Alma out and was trying to kill him. "There was one among them whose name was Alma, he also being a descendant of Nephi. And he was a young man, and he believed the words which Abinadi had spoken, for he knew concerning the iniquity which Abinadi had testified against them; therefore he began to plead with the king that he would not be angry with Abinadi, but suffer that he might depart in peace. But the king was more wroth, and caused that Alma should be cast out from among them, and sent his servants after him that they might slay him" (Mosiah 17:2-3). Did he have any inkling or moment of personal revelation pointing to Alma's future role as a prophet?

Whatever his thoughts and emotions in that moment, Abinidi's confidence and resolve were unmoving. King Noah even offered him an out if he would deny the words he spoke, but Abinidi responded, "I say unto you, I will not recall the words which I have spoken unto you concerning this people, for they are true; and that ye may know of their surety I have suffered myself that I have fallen into your hands. Yea, and I will suffer even until death, and I will not recall my words, and they shall stand as a testimony against you" (Mosiah 17:8-9). Abinidi's courage came from his conviction that the words he spoke were true. In fact, he so so sure they were true and so determined to testify of truth that he "suffered [himself] that he might fall into [King Noah's] hands." He went looking for trouble. He proactively chose a path that he knew would include suffering and possibly death because he knew the truth and felt compelled to counter wickedness. He had "put off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord ... willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father" (Mosiah 3:19).

Being "willing to submit to all things" is the tuition cost of true discipleship. We cannot, should not, and will not avoid suffering in this life. We often try to avoid, ignore, numb, and repress uncomfortable circumstances and emotions when we should be striving instead to increase our willingness to experience them. This is not to say we should not be happy. We should, maybe even up to 50% of the time. But when we resist discomfort then we suffer about our suffering. We feel anxiety, disappointment, frustration, and shame for enduring the intended and natural slumps of mortality. Even our self-imposed suffering from sin only gets worse when we try to avoid it. Intellectually we may accept "that there is an opposition in all things" but struggle to muster the willingness to embrace discomfort. We don't celebrate the rigors of principled living even though we know that without opposition 
"righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one" (2 Nephi 2:11). Instead setbacks, challenges, failures, and pain are perceived as disorienting warning signs that something has gone horribly wrong when in reality it is simply what we signed up for when we chose to be human. The next time you are called upon to endure something overwhelming, onerous, or sinisterly unfair, you have a choice to see it as a disaster and resist feeling the hurt, or think "Ah, there it is. Father told me that opposition was coming. This is what my trial looks like. This the part where I feel pain."

The reason we are not willing to simply be with our pain is because we fear feeling badly. We fear missing out, we fear the tightness in our chest, or the sweat in our palms, the heat in our muscles, or the shallowness of our breath that comes with being anxious, scared, resentful, exhausted, and disappointed. We have imprinted in our minds the way our lives should be, informed by social media and our own fantasies, and we make the realization of this ideal the criteria for peace, self-worth, and contentment. But Abinidi, after being beaten nearly to death, and while flames literally consumed his flesh, was in full command of his confidence, self-dignity, and acceptance of his circumstances. Our well-being does not have to wait for perfection. We can move forward with certitude and peace being reconciled to the hard half of being human. 

"And now, when Abinadi had said these words, he fell, having suffered death by fire; yea, having been put to death because he would not deny the commandments of God, having sealed the truth of his words by his death" (Mosiah 17:20). Like so many prophets before him, he did not enjoy the blessings of his righteousness in this life. Even those of us who live comfortable existences on earth have more in store in the next life if we live righteously. In his letter to the Hebrews, Paul recounted all the great heroes and heroines of the old testament and the miracles they wrought in faith, but observed that "These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth" (Hebrews 11:13). We will all die incomplete and unfulfilled creatures, but we can be persuaded of the blessings that await, and reduce our suffering now by embracing the pain inherent in our fallen state. 


Application Questions

What pain or hardship in your life are you afraid to feel? 


Image Credit: Unknown