Jacob 1 - That We Might Persuade Them to Come Unto Christ I'm taking an online economics class right now, which prompted me to think of the definition of economics in the context of the scriptures. Economics is the study of the allocation of scarce resources. In the case of Nephi and his successor Jacob, the plates upon which they engraved their record was a scarce resource. They were costly to make and difficult to engrave, and instilling a tradition of passing them through generations was surely cumbersome. Recognizing the great importance of spiritual things and the challenge of maintaining records, Nephi instructed Jacob to prioritize religious instruction saying, " if there were preaching which was sacred, or revelation which was great, or prophesying, that I should engraven the heads of them upon these plates, and touch upon them as much as it were possible, for Christ’s sake, and for the sake of our people" (Jacob 1:4). This priority was not only reflecte
Alma spoke to his son Helaman to share his conversion story and testimony of Christ. Alma emphasized that his knowledge of God did not come from the miraculous visions and experiences, but from the feelings of the Spirit. "And I would not that ye think that I know of myself—not of the temporal but of the spiritual, not of the carnal mind but of God" (Alma 36:4). Alma literally saw and angel, was struck down, repented in a spiritual coma for three days and three nights, and saw a vision of God and His heavenly hosts, yet he attributed his testimony of the gospel to the feelings of the spirit, and not his temporal experiences. Though the angel spake "as it were the voice of thunder, and the whole earth did tremble beneath our feet" it was not as compelling or transformative as the effects of the Spirit (Alma 36:7).
When Alma was confronted and chastised by an angel of God, he was struck down by the weight of his own guilt. He said, "I did remember all my sins and iniquities, for which I was tormented with the pains of hell ... the very thought of coming into the presence of my God did rack my soul with inexpressible horror" (Alma 36:13-14). The source of his torment was his memories of his sins and thoughts about his future judgment. God does not afflict and torment us, even when we deserve it. Instead, our punishment for sin is our own mental anguish and acute sense that we have fallen short. Instead, God stands with outstretched arms, filled with love in anticipation of our return. What helped Alma escape his torment was a memory of his father's teachings about Christ, and his own budding testimony of the Savior. "I remembered also to have heard my father prophesy unto the people concerning the coming of one Jesus Christ, a Son of God, to atone for the sins of the world. Now, as my mind caught hold upon this thought, I cried within my heart: O Jesus, thou Son of God, have mercy on me. And now, behold, when I thought this, I could remember my pains no more; yea, I was harrowed up by the memory of my sins no more. And oh, what joy, and what marvelous light I did behold; yea, my soul was filled with joy as exceeding as was my pain!" (Alma 36:17-20). There is immediacy to the relief of repentance. As soon as Alma's mind "caught hold upon this thought" that Christ would come he was filled with joy and forgot the pain of his sin. While the process of repentance and restitution takes time and effort, the comfort of God can be immediate. Alma dedicated the rest of his life to preaching the gospel in order to right the wrongs he had committed and make restitution for the damage he had done, but the feelings of relief and joy did not have to wait until his repentance was complete or his restitution made in full.
Too often we do not give ourselves license to feel good during the process of repentance. We conjure shame and self-loathing in our minds that not only blunts our feelings of worth and well-being, but plays into Satan's plan to halt our forward progress. We accept the lie that we are not allowed to love ourselves or enjoy and appreciate our lives until we are perfect. This is not the "godly sorrow" requisite for repentance, but a device of the devil to thwart our growth. Shame does not motivate change. Only feelings of hope and determination can do that. While there is a link between feeling better and being fully forgiven, they are not the same thing, and do not necessarily happen at the same time.
Alma felt better long before his process of repentance was complete, and the experience of the prophet Enos illustrates how even being forgiven does not immediately or inevitably lead to emotional relief. He recounted "There came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed. And I, Enos, knew that God could not lie; wherefore, my guilt was swept away." The thing that swept away Enos' guilt was not the fact that he was forgiven. In fact, many of us carry around guilt for sins that were resolved long ago and the Lord has forgotten. What swept away Enos' guilt was the understanding and acknowledgement that "God could not lie." The state of being forgiven does not make us feel better; only our conviction and assurance that God was sincere when He said "he who has repented of his sins, the same is forgiven, and I, the Lord, remember them no more" can help us feel better (D&C 58:42). Letting go of guilt is faith-based, not forgiveness-based. Regardless of your standing before God, you have cause to feel hope and joy today. That hope and joy will be the most powerful engine you have to make any course corrections necessary in your life. We must feel better before we are able to do better. Like Alma, when we have faith in Christ's redeeming power, we can be free of debilitating shame even before our long road of repentance has begun.
In fact, Alma's lifelong work of restitution was not motivated by an anxiety to be forgiven, but out of love for his brothers and sisters. He explains, "Yea, and from that time even until now, I have labored without ceasing, that I might bring souls unto repentance; that I might bring them to taste of the exceeding joy of which I did taste; that they might also be born of God, and be filled with the Holy Ghost" (Alma 36:24). We can also choose love as our motivation to repent and serve. Sorrow for sin is simply an acknowledgement that righteousness is important to us and we have some more work to do to meet God's standards. Just because we can see the gap between where we are and where we want to be does not mean we cannot feel joy as we cross it. Love, hope, joy, and faith in Christ are our most powerful fuel, and the only things that can motivate us to bridge the gap.
Application Questions
How can a testimony of Jesus Christ bring you joy, even when you are flawed and imperfect?
What guilt are you needlessly carrying around?
What is your current motivation to repent? How can you shift your motivation from shame and self-loathing to a love of self, others, and God?
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